So happy my first born woke up with a smile and eager to go to school. I am grateful because today was a breeze instead of giving me a hard time and asking for 5 more minutes of zzzzz time, and another 5 minutes, and another 5....and 1001 excuses on why today is not a good day to go to school.
I am a really easy going mum...that's because I grew up with a stickler for discipline, my Dad! So raising my own children, I didn't want my children to be scared of me like I was of my dad. I think children who had a parent or parents who were (or are) in the armed forces will know what I mean. Let me put it in the easiest way I can think of...his discipline method was so easy, he would just give us "the look" with his eyes, a sign that something bigger was coming if we continue anything that he disapproves off (My dad was a drill Sargent when he was younger and you probably could hear him from miles and went on to become KL Traffic Chief and retired as the Selangor Commissioner of Police).
Like the English saying, "Children should be seen and not heard." That was how we grew up, nobody dared to cry let alone fight or make noise when he was around. This should explain my passion for books because I am sure I will never get in trouble and when Dad asked me any questions, I had the answer at the tip of my tongue. I didn't want to hear the booming voice, because that could only mean somebody has done something wrong. But my Dad never raised his voice or his hand on any of his children. Never! because there was never a need to, we were well behaved children, my Mum will proudly vouch for it, but she will add "but I don't know what happened to them when they grew up." Thanks a lot Mummy.
Mind you although my parents were strict, I could always speak my mind and let my arguments be heard. Dad was fair, if I had a strong argument for doing against something and can stand my ground, my Dad would let me have my ways. My Dad believed times have changed and It is the survival of the foetus, and he believed his two daughters can grow and survive anywhere. Living in a house full of brothers, my Dad raised us girls to be tough like boys and to be independent. He would always challenge me and see if I would rise to his challenges.
The first day I had my driving license, my Dad shove the car keys and told me to drive him around. A week as his chauffeur, I had a dispute with a motorcyclist, my Dad just watched and let me settle the matter myself and of course I was on the right! The man said sorry and hurriedly went on his way. Even now, sometimes, my husband tells me "Can you be like a woman and let me handle the problem" when we are faced with kiasu drivers and I am ready to roll up my sleeves to pick a fight with the male driver who had crossed my path. Temper! Temper!
Now, back to my own children, this same method wouldn't work. I've tried! I guess as people tell me all the time...Children nowadays...It's the food... Anak engkau tak makan saman!...I blame it on their non - Malay genes (sorry hubby). Hehehehe. I try to get my children to be the best children you could ever wish for ~ obedient, eat at the table not in front of the TV, in bed by 8pm, everything-you-want-Mum-I-will-do-it...but no such luck. There will always be an argument on everything. The only way we have learn from each other is to compromise and bargaining, of course; for example I let my son sleep an extra 10 minutes, he would pack his school books the night before. Or he would wear his pyjamas to bed, if I would let him have a little TV time before he goes to sleep.
I wasn't keen on the ways of my parents and I am not keen on my husband's side too, so I guess we are raising our children (with lots of trials and errors) the best way that suits us. My siblings and I grew up with fear and respect for Dad (Mum was considered the "good cop") and I felt that we couldn't always be open with him. I don't want to be my children's friend, I want to be their Mum. I want my children to have admiration and respect for their parents, that they will open up and seek our opinions when they grow up and face life challenges. But for now no matter how much kerenah they put up, I am grateful I have been blessed with beautiful healthy children. Starting the day today with little resistance was enough to make me grateful. Alhamdulillah!
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