A Family Gathering

Always grateful for family gatherings. We had a gathering last Sunday at my mum's place to celebrate my niece Sueraya's 18th birthday (by the way Sueraya is the one wearing the polka dots top). I am grateful that at least for the day my mum's house is lively and noisy, my 75 year old mum is not alone, she is surrounded by children and grandchildren. There is always a birthday do at my mum's house every month, it could be one of my siblings or nephews or nieces. It is the only time we can get everybody over to her house for "makan-makan" and catching up with each others lives.

It is always nice to see my siblings and their children around. There were nine of us, now there are seven. With each having their work and family, it is never easy to get everyone in the same room. There is always somebody missing. My eldest brother is currently away as the Malaysian ambassador in Bahrain.  Last year, when he was around for Eid Al-Fitri, I was away in Saudi Arabia. Eid means celebration. Eid Al-Fitri is a Muslim holiday that marks the end of Ramadan, the Islamic holy month of fasting, also marks the 1st of Syawal in the Islamic calender.

This year Insyallah I get to spend Ramadan and Eid in Malaysia. While other Malaysian Muslims are eager to leave to be in the Holy Land of Mecca during this time, after seven Eid Al-Fitris in Arab Saudi, I must insist to be in Malaysia. You see, in Saudi Arabia, although I am surrounded by my husband's family members....their Eid celebration is nothing like us in Malaysia.

It is not so much the celebration that I missed. It is the get together that comes with it. No open house!Nobody visits! No food feast! Nobody slaving away making must-have food.  In fact, there is no must-have food in the morning of Eid like we do here in Malaysia.

Eid is just like any other day. The only thing we do different on Eid, at least for the women folk is get all dressed up and get "eidiya" (duit raya). Unlike in Malaysia where only kids get duit raya, in Saudi Arabia, I get duit raya too! In the morning, they will prepare the Arabic coffee known as qahwah made from unroasted coffee beans and cardamon. It is a traditional beverage in Arabian culture, often served with dates and some Syrian baklava and sweets.

My father in-law is the eldest among relatives, so all his younger brothers, nephews and close male family friends would come to visit him right after the Eid prayer. Only close family members would stay to have a small breakfast spread consisting of the Syrian Kishek (a sort of soup the Syrians eat in winter with Arabian bread) with my father in-law and his sons (my husband's two brothers who also lives in the same house). The guests would go back and that's how I usually celebrate Eid. While food is being served, women folks do not sit down with the men. We are like those stage hands you don't see, working behind the scene. The closest I get to feel like Eid in Malaysia is when I make the morning call to mum to wish her Eid Mubarak and the rest of the words are muffled by my uncontrollable sobbing.

Don't expect female relatives to visit us on this day. They would probably call to wish us "Eid Mubarak" and arrange to have an all women get together in the next few days. We have our women only get together, once in three months, usually at our house because ours is the biggest house amongst relatives living in Mecca.

In Malaysia, my mother would be busy the eve of Eid making rendang (chicken or beef cooked in coconut milk and paste), nasi impit (rice cubes) while I would be busy baking (read buying) cookies and desserts. At least that is my must-have for the next three days of Eid. In the morning of Eid, after making amends with my mum and the rest of my siblings and family, I would be waiting impatiently for my guests to arrive. I love seeing the children's faces all light up upon getting duit raya or the sound  of the occasional fire crackers. Girls parading their new baju kurung. People wishing Eid and shaking hands,some crying as both trying to ask for forgiveness and to start fresh,and my non-Muslim friends coming over to visit and celebrate with us. This is a lively and lovely time. That is Eid. That is a gathering. So while I know different places and people celebrate differently, I am thankful that while I am here there will always be gatherings.